Journal Entry #96I'm a different person today than I was yesterday. It's not that something totally mind-blowing happened to me yesterday afternoon that made me go home and think about life for four hours or anything like that; it's just that I'm finding that I change in little, barely perceptible ways in every moment that I live. I'm always thinking forward, thinking about how I want to change myself and be a different person, but in doing all of this I never realized until now that in thinking things like that I was changing myself. I'm a different person than I was this morning because today I read the past year of my life.I've been making journal and di
Please Come HomeI hold you closeBut you feel so farYou're slipping away Farther into your hellI don't knowIf or how I can helpQuick, grab my handDont fall anymoreLet me pull you BackCome back to usWe wont let you goPlease. . .Don't fallBot with out meBy your sideUsTogether as oneForever
KryptoniteMy kryptoniteWritten uponPagesSkinScreensLine for lineBlack on whiteMeaningless and simpleBut so effectiveSo much emotionIn such small inkMy kryptonite.My savior.
All Hallows EveBlackened windowsDarker nightsRituals beginning to boilThe day the nights shinesWhen death comes out to playBloody sacrificesLeft on porchesSymbols carved upon woodEvil wreaking havocDestruction left behindHappy All Hallows Eve. . .
Sex, Drugs and Higher HeelsFickle, cruel thingsBackstabbing liarsAnd Cutthroat bitchesStereotypesSex, drugsAndHigher heelsRazor bladesBloody wristsAnd Death WishesDating, fooling aroundCheatersAndHeartbreakClasses, skipping or showingFailing gradesAnd Honor studentsEating disordersDepressionAnd Self loathingTwittering laughsFake smilesAndFake friendsTeenagersSocietal fluffOpen your blind eyesLook upon your destructionBlame yourselfYour words and hateMake you cruelBeyond reasonPoint your fingersSay it isn't youBut for ever one you point,Three show truth
Too Scared To LiveI never wanted to be This girlThis empty shellNever wanted to be Who I've become Needy and aloneToo scared to liveToo frightened to dreamA life gone to wasteI need a purposeA smileA hope for future But I never,Never wanted to beThe girl I've become
Death's HandFootsteps down a long, dark hallwayCreek Creek CreekNot a whisper could be heardNot a mouse could be foundAs she lays comfortably in her majestic bedDarkness tucks her inAnd death lurks her dreamsTaking her hand, she turns and smilesWelcoming death kindlyThunder cracks in the sky!Blinding light flashes throughThe tall, mighty windowsShe then questions deaths existence"But I am just dreaming, you're not real"She saysDeath does not movenor does he speakHe simply grabs her warm handSlowly, her eyelids become drowsyAs if they weighed a million poundsShe closes themAwaking the next morningBelieving it wa
Solitude SpotsAloneMe and my thoughtsI need nothingBut my penAnd my soulDays in my mindRushing byMistakes and regretsTransform nowSmiles and storiesLessons learnedMy mind intriguedIve changed alreadyMy life, another strandIm not who I wasMy mind nowSwimming in a dazeMy yesterdaysJust a page of my pastIm not the girl I was.AloneJust me and my thoughtsMy yesterdaysMy yesterdays goneWith a shadow of my pastMy today's a journey ahead.
Just LoansFor everythingIm sorryOur relationsThey are but a loanThis realizationIts made a changeIve been wrongFor the Im sorryI can never knowHow long we'll be togetherAnd that aloneHas made me seeI need to changePleaseTake my handLead me onTo a new placeTo a new worldThese loansThey held me upThose loansMy worldIm sorry for my waysFor who I am;Who I wasAnd thank youFor standing strongWhen I was weakI promise I'll tryI'll become a new personMy loans; relations, friends. Im sorryIve caused pain and worryThank youFor never leaving my side
My Silent WarCounseling, they sayInstitute, they beg Get help, they pleadIs it that obvious?Who- what I am. . .My scarsLine for lineScreaming my silent warsAm I really that girl?
Sta.sh
